1 oktober 2017
Jag blev så otroligt berörd av det här. Av Simon Sinek som pratar om millennials in the workplace. Av det han säger. Visserligen målar han upp en kanske onödigt hopplös och sorglig bild av situationen men jag känner att det också kan vara på sin plats att för ovanlighetens skull se på det med sådana ögon. Att förbarma sig lite över vår generation. Det är skönt när en vuxen och viktig person som andra vuxna och viktiga personer lyssnar på förbarmar sig lite över oss och ser att de flesta av oss inte självmant har valt att bli narcissistiska, lata eller överambitiösa. Och när han kommer till delen om att det värsta är att vi millennials blame ourselves blev det som allra sorgligast kände jag och fick några tårar i ögonen. Det är inte vårt fel.
Four things why millennials are still not happy (even when they've found a job with purpose and free food and bean bags):
”Too many of the millenials grow up facing failed parenting strategies, where for example they were told that they were special, all the time. They were told that they could get anything they want in life, anything they wanted. Some of them got into honor classes not because they earned it but because their parents complained. Some of them got participation medals, even if they came in last. The science is pretty clear on that, that it devalues the medal and reward for those who actually really work hard and makes the person coming last feeling embarrased.
And so you take this group of people, they graduate and they get a job and in an instant they find out that they're not special, your mom can't get you a promotion and you get nothing for coming in last and you can't just have it cause you want it. And in an instant their whole self image is scattered. So you have an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations.
The other problem to compound it is that we're growing up in a facebook instagram world, in other words we can put filters on things. We're good at showing people that life is amazing even tho I'm depressed. And everybody sounds tough and like they've got it all figured out when the reality is there is very little toughness and most people don't have it figured out. So you have an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations. Through no fault of their own.”
”Now let's add on technology. We know that engagement with social media and our cell phones releases a chemical called dopamin. That's why when you get a text - it feels good. We've all done it when we feel a bit low, we send out ten texts to ten different people, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. 'Cause it feels good when we get a text back. That's why we count the likes we get and so on. And the trauma for young kids to be defriended.. Whoa. Dopamin is the reason why we keep coming back to social media. And dopamin is the exact same chemical thats makes us feel good when we smoke, drink, gamble etc. In other words, it's highly, highly addictive.
We have aid restrictions on smoking, drinking and alcohol, but we have no aid restrictions on social media and cell phones. Which is the equivalent of opening up the liqor cabinet and saying to our teenagers, hey by the way, this adolescence thing, if it gets you down..! That's basically what has happened, you have an entire generation that's had access to an addictive numbing to dopamin through social media and cell phones as they're going through the highest stress of adolescence.
Why is this important? Almost every alcoholic discovered alcohol when they were teenagers. When we are very, very young the only approval we need is that of our parents, and as we go through adolescence we go through the transition where we now need the approval of our peers. Very irritating for our parents, very important for us. That's a highly, highly stressful and anxious period of our lives and we're supposed to learn to rely on our friends. Some people quite by accident discover alcohol and the numbing effects of dopamin to help them cope with the stress and anxiety of adolescene and unfortunately that becomes hard-wired in their brains so that for the rest of their lives they turn to the bottle when it gets tough. What's happening now when we offer unfettered access to these dopamin producing devices and media, basically it is being hard-wired, and what we see is that when they grow older they don't know how to form deep relations. They don't rely on their friends, don't count on them. They have fun with their friends but they also now that their friends will cancel on them if something better comes along. Deepful relations are not there because they never practive the skill set and worse, they don't have the coping methods to deal with stress so when stress starts to show in their lives they are not turning to a person, they turn to a device. Social media. Temporary relief.
We know that people using Facebook a lot are more depressed than those who don't. It's all about balance and imbalance. There's nothing wrong with social media but it's the imbalance. We are addicted. It will destroy relationships, cost time, cost money, make your life worse. So you have an entire generation growing up with lower self esteem, that doesn't have the coping methods to deal with stress.”
”Now you add a sense of impatience. They've grown up in a world with instant gratification. You buy something on Amazon and it comes the next day. You wanna see a movie, you click on a movie on Netflix. You wanna go on a date, you don't even have to learn and practice that skill, you just swipe right. You don't have to learn the social mechanisms. Everything you want you can have instantaneously. Except - job satisfaction and strengthened relationships. There ain't no app for that. They are slow, meandering, uncomfortable, messy processes. And so we wanna quit jobs after only eight months because we're not making an impact. It is as if they're standing at the bottom of a mountain and they have this strange concept of impact that they wanna have on the world, which is the summit. What they don't see is the mountain. I don't care if they go up and down the mountain quickly or slowly, but there's still a mountain and so what this young generation needs to learn is patience. Patience that some things that really, really matter, like love, or job fulfillment, joy, love of life, self conficence, a skill set, any of these things, all these things take time. Sometimes you can expert pieces of it, but the overall journey is argious and long and difficult. And if you don't ask for help and learn that skill set you will fall of the mountain or, the worst case scenario, which we already see, is increases in suicide, in drug overdoses, more school drop outs, or leaves of abscence due to depression, this is really bad. The worst case scenario. The best case scenario is you have an entire population growing up and going through life never really finding joy, they'll never really find deep fulfillment in work or in life. Just waft thorugh life and just think its fine. "How's your job?" "Its fine, same as yesterday." The same with relationships. This is the best case scenario. Which leads me to the fourth area...”
”...which is we're taking this amazing group of young, fantastic kids, who just are dealt with bad hands - it's no fault of their own - and we put them in corporate environments that care more about the numbers than they do about the kids. They care more about the short term gains than long term life of this young human being. We care more about the year than the life time. So we are putting them in corporate environments that isn't helping them building their confidence. That aren't learning them the skill of cooperation. That aren't helping them overcoming the challenges of a digital world and finding more balance. It isn't helping them overcome the need of having instant gratification, and teach them the joy and impact and fulfillment you get of working hard on something for a long time that cannot be done in a month or even in a year. And so we're thrusting them in an corporate environment and the worst part of this it that they think it's them. They blame themselves. They think it's them who can't deal. And so it makes it all worse.
I'm here to tell them, it's not them. It's the corporations, it's the corporate environment, the total lack of good leadership in our world today, that is making them feel the way they do. They we're dealt at bad hand it is and I hate to say it but it is the companies' responsibility. It sucks to be you (the companies), but we have no choice. This is what we've got, and I wish the society and the parents did a better job but they didn't, so were getting them in our companies, and we now have to pick up the slack, we have to work extra hard to figure out the ways that we build their confidence, we have to work extra hard to learn them the social skills they're missing out on.
There should be no cell phones in conference rooms, none, zero. And i don't mean like sitting outside the conference room waiting for a text, I mean like when you're sitting and waiting for a meeting to start, this is what we all do we sit and wait for a meeting to start like this (typing on phone). No. That's not how relationships are formed - remember we talked about that it's about the little things - relationships are built this way, when we're waiting on a meeting to start and we go "how is your dad, I heard he's in a hospital?". That is how trust is formed. Trust isn't formed in an instant or a day, even bad times don't form trust immediately, it is the slow, steady, consistency. And we have to create mechanisms where we allow for those little interactions to happen.
The reason you take the alcohol out of the house is because we don't trust our willpower, we're just not strong enough, but when you remove the temptation, it actually makes it a lot easier. If you dont have the phone, you just kind of enjoy the world, and that's were ideas happen, when our minds wonder and we go and see something - "maybe i could do that?". That's called innovation. But we're taking away all those little moments. None of us should charge our phones by our beds. Remove the temptation.”
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